I Hate… Mornings

October 30, 2008

Having had the first decent nights sleep in weeks, undisturbed by the incessant wailing of car alarms triggered by the heavy thud of a falling leaf. A sleep punctuated only by pleasant dreams, about killing evil scar-faced men with foreign accents, then servicing beautiful women, whose scanty clothes fall off at the merest hint of a corny one-liner. Dreams probably brought on by a late night of viewing Bond.

I woke into that bemused semi-conscious state that only hung-over students can really enjoy, happy in the knowledge that a hard days studenting lay ahead and would start at the crack of midday with a well earned skive at their local pub.
It’s going to be a good day!
As I lay there, I blinked the sleep from my eyes and let the world resolve into focus. As it did I was startled to find a knobbly swirl of peanut butter lazing on the pillow next to me?!? Rigidly I lay staring into its nutty eyes and puzzled over this conundrum??? Maybe the Other Half had put it there in case she woke with a ravenous hunger I pondered. Then realising her nut allergy made this highly unlikely, I continued to hold its squidgy stare as it sat quietly smoking.
It’s a dream I decided. One of those bizarre ones brought on by late night consumption of cheese?! Any minute now it would wave and tell me something ominous. “You are going to die a horrible painful death when a stack of Sun-Pats finest collapses on you later” it totally failed to say.
Now puzzled by my newfound creamy companions lack of conversation, a surreal twist in a surreal dream, I prepared to poke it in the time-honoured tradition of the curious.
Index finger, licked, poised millimetres from the steaming sandwich filling. The ‘I am awake’ neurons of my brain fired and in turn woke other sleeping groups of grey matter. For as my finger edged forward, their warning cries could be heard.
“Why would it not be on a plate?”
“What idiot would put it on a pillow!”
“Since when did peanut butter steam?”
And just as my finger pierced the surface, the final warning
And like an anvil falling onto a cartoon coyote the penny dropped as the steamy warmth enveloped my pinky
F**K!N’ CAT!! ….SH!T!!! literally
The day went down hill from there….. BU**ER!
The cat now has a cork, still in its bottle, nailed up its @rse & her fate is dependent on the outcome of talks with the local Chinese restaurant!
The pillow and case have been sterilized using fire
My finger still smells even after scrubbing with bleach.
The whereabouts of the turd is unknown. You have been warned!

Winter Is On The Way!

October 29, 2008


Its Official.. Winter is on it’s way


I think it’s time to dig out the winter leather motorcycle jacket, the fleece which fits under it, the large scarf to keep my neck warm, the winter motorcycle gloves , and all the other paraphernalia which makes me look like MIchelin (wo)man in the winter..

Oh and I’m looking at getting heated grips for the bike too!!! 

They have these hot hands heated grip covers available on Amazon at the moment for £37.35 which includes £7.64 off.. woohoo!!


I Am So Glad I Learned To Ride

October 28, 2008

I never did learn to drive a car, I’m a motorcycle lover deep in my heart but despite that I only learned to ride a year and a half ago. It was a *cough* birthday present to myself after being a pillion for more years than I care to remember.. And I can quite honestly say it was the best thing I have ever done.. (children excluded from that list of course)

The freedom this has given me is incredible, I no longer have to rely on being taken anywhere by anyone!!

If I fancy popping out I can, whenever I want to, even if it is just for a ride because the weather is nice and sunny.. and believe me you can’t beat the feeling you get riding down the road on a lovely warm day.. its incredible and most of the time I have a smile on my face inside my crash helmet..

I so wish I had done this before, in fact years ago, now I realise exactly the fun and freedom I have been missing out on all these years..

And this is the other local idiot

October 22, 2008

Riding at up to 130 mph, performing wheelies, skids and racing round Banbury on the A422 Banbury to Brackley road in Oxfordshire. A witness got the registration number of his Yamaha R6 during the incident and reported it to the police. When they arrived at his house to question him about the incident he asked “Is it about the YouTube video”. Until he opened his mouth they had no idea he had posted a video of his adventures on the Internet.

28-year-old Sandor Ferenci from Oxford is dumb on two counts, firstly for riding like this in the first place, and secondly for posting the ‘evidence’ on You Tube. If you are dumb enough to try a stunt like this on your bike, don’t advertise the fact!!

The result of that days riding.. Pleading guilty to two counts of dangerous driving, 12 weeks in jail, disqualification from driving for two years and having to take the extended test before he is allowed back out on the road.

He deserves all he got!!

Other riders don’t deserve what they are going to get though, a bad name.. This is just another example of yet another idiotic rider giving us a bad image.. AGAIN!!

The full story can be found HERE

To read discussions about this by other riders, go HERE

Thank you Mr Combe.. NOT!!

October 22, 2008

Once again motorcycle riders in Oxfordshire are getting a bad press, this time thanks to an idiot called Mr Florian Combe.

A quarter mile wheelie and speeds of up to 100mph on a dual carriageway with a speed limit of 50mph. What the heck was he thinking? Actually I dont think he was using his brain, but there you go.

Public roads are not the place for this kind of riding, if you want to do it then take it to a race track. Its no wonder that riders, and especially sportsbike riders, get targeted by the police, abuse from other road users, and negative press.

The story can be found HERE

He has been convicted of careless driving and the case has been adjourned until 13th November 2008, I wait with interest to see what will happen..

To read discussions about this by other riders go HERE